I have met many people who would like to try writing.
Sometimes this is in order to try and make sense of traumatic events. Sometimes it might be to raise awareness of what they have personally experienced, or to offer hope to others.
What people frequently say is that they don’t know how to begin. Some people tell me that they don’t think their writing is very good or that they are not very articulate.
Sometimes people might have already started writing, but they are finding things difficult, for various reasons. Some tell me how helpful it is to write things down and how it helps to process their trauma. Others express that they are afraid to write about their experiences because it will mean they will need to revisit trauma.
But what does the research say? Is it helpful or harmful to write about our difficult experiences?
Jamie Pennebaker and colleagues published a paper 1997 in Psychological Science describing the process of writing about trauma. The research is summarised by Art Markman PhD in Psychology Today
“As you might expect, writing about these emotional events was very difficult for people. They did not enjoy the experience, and they found it painful. However, the long-term effects of this writing were fascinating. If you followed the people in these studies over time, they reported fewer illnesses, they went to the doctor less often, and they suffered fewer symptoms of depression in the future. They were less likely to miss work and school, and their performance at work went up. These effects lasted for months and years after writing.“
The Pennebaker study is cited, along with other research in the Harvard Health Publishing article: Writing about emotions may ease stress and trauma.
In this blog post, I address some common concerns, and hope to provide some points for you to consider if you are thinking about writing your trauma, and in fact, many of these points apply to writing in general.
There is no obligation to write about trauma. You can write about anything that you wish to! Writing can be a great hobby, and the best way to begin is to write about what interests you.
I don’t know where to begin
This is a common concern and one that can sometimes be resolved by starting to write about something that interests you, or simply record your thoughts about a regular activity you take part in or would like to take part in. Or perhaps retell a fairytale from memory. If you are stuck for a topic, you can find some helpful prompts in this excellent resource.
Don’t worry about whether your writing is good, grammatically accurate or polished.
There is something that writers refer to, and it’s known as the sfd.
This stands for the shitty first draft, and it originates from a quote attributed to Ernest Hemingway
‘The first draft of anything is shit.’
Now, I am not sure whether this is encouraging or not. Personally, it serves as a reminder to just get things down on paper. The sentences may look a little jumbled. The words may be messy. But that’s ok because we need a starting point. Once the words hit the page, they have made the first step out of our heads. From this initial work we can redraft and edit as necessary. Of course, the sfd may be enough. We might not feel the need to tinker with the words. Once they are out, they are free.
You can start today by doing something called ‘freewriting’. This essentially means just allowing your thoughts to flow on the page, with no structure, and no expectations. There are some great freewriting blogs and resources online.
If you are not ready to start freewriting yet, why not try brainstorming some ideas/ thoughts/ feelings? Brainstorming is a great way to allow your mind to make connections between topics and themes and it can generate some brilliant glimmers of creativity. Unlike freewriting where you should aim to write in full sentences, with brainstorming, anything goes. Lists, single words, phrases or a brainstorming diagram. Whatever takes your fancy.
If brainstorming isn’t your thing, try creating a mood board or a collage. Find pictures that represent your experiences, your feelings and the story you would like to tell, and group them together. Pinterest can be a really useful resource for this kind of collection of ideas.
Another option is to record yourself telling your story. My grandfather did this. He fled a war torn country when he was a teen, as he was forced at gunpoint to leave his home. He spent time in a workers camp, where relatives and friends perished. Understandably, he carried this trauma through his whole life, and only toward the end of his life did he decide to talk about it, and to record it for posterity.
Journalling
Another way to overcome the fear of writing those first few words is through journalling. Of course, there is no right or wrong way to journal. It is a personal experience and will be a reflection of an individual’s inner thoughts. It can be a great way to process emotions, and to allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel, without the fear of judgment.
For me personally, when my family and I were in the midst of the storm, I tried to journal and couldn’t. It was almost too much to be confronted with the reality of what we were going through.
I have met others, however, who found journalling during the worst times to be very therapeutic. An advantage of journalling is that you have all of your thoughts and emotions documented so that if you ever decide to write more formally about your experiences in future, you have a wealth of material to draw from. Because, in truth, over time, we do forget how intense those emotions once were. Of course, revisiting journals could be a double-edged sword as it might re-ignite those feelings, but I think that provided we approach the task with caution and ensure that we are mentally in the right place to embark upon the rediscovery, it can be done safely.
My writing isn’t very good
Whenever people say this, I want to ask ‘who told you this?’. More often than not, it’s the inner voice of doubt. I recently attended a life-coaching seminar and the facilitator said to imagine all of the things we want to achieve. Next, think of all the reasons we tell ourselves why our ideas won’t succeed. Imagine that those barriers were removed. What does that look like? I feel that when it comes to writing, this is a valuable philosophy.
Blogging
Blogging can provide the same kind of release, and sometimes it can help to have the pain acknowledged by others who read your writing. Of course, blogging brings a certain vulnerability to the situation, because anything shared publicly can incite some hostility so you do need to be in a position where you feel able to deal with any potentially hurtful feedback.
One option can be to make social media accounts available only to a certain audience, or to add a password to blog posts. Some people might wish to keep the blog posts entirely private, possibly to return to them at a later date and use them as writing material, or just to move on completely.
I kept public blogs through the worst of social care intrusion into my life and the children’s lives which really helped me to process the feelings of desperation, anger, hopelessness and injustice.
Interestingly, Pennebaker’s study identified that it isn’t necessarily the sharing the writing with others that created the benefits to the wellbeing of the subjects in the study;
”The people doing the writing do not have to believe that anyone will ever read what they wrote. So, the benefit of writing is not in disclosing this personal information to someone else. The benefit is in creating a story that links together the emotional memories.” Psychology Today
Anonymity
This brings me neatly to the next point. When a person wishes to share their experiences publicly, for the benefit of others, perhaps the author should be aware the potential impact of releasing the story. Will it help them or hinder them? Will it make them too vulnerable? Will it feel like a release to have their experiences read and acknowledged by others? Or will they regret being so open?
There are certain safeguards that can be put into place. One is writing anonymously or under a pseudonym. Alter egos and pen names have always been adopted by creatives, for various reasons. It can help the writer to feel more confident about releasing certain information, and of course, in the case of something like being the family member of someone who committed a sexual offence, safety from vigilantes and from public backlash may be achieved more easily through maintaining anonymity.
I have spoken to the media anonymously, a function which enabled me to tell my story. In fact, anonymously was the only way it could be done safely. Although speaking to a journalist is is not without its own challenges, and telling our story in the media is by no means an easy thing to do. I will write more about this in a future post because it’s a topic in itself, which requires careful consideration by the individual taking part and for correct support and aftercare to be put into place.
If you share your story with a charity or organization, do make sure you are informed as to exactly how your story will be used, when it will be published, where it will be published, and that you have the right of removal. Also, that there is aftercare in place. These steps can help to minimize being re-traumatised.
Fiction
Another technique is to fictionalise the story. I used this technique throughout the course of my MA in Creative Writing, where I submitted chapters of a fictional story about the fallout of the knock. In fact, I consulted with the course leader before embarking upon the project to discuss the potential benefits and pitfalls of writing a fictionalised account of my own trauma. I decided to pursue this route because I didn’t want to reveal myself to my fellow students, seeing as I had to change my name and relocate in the fallout of media coverage of my children's father's crimes.
Naturally, my writing is informed by elements of my experience, but the characters are entirely fictional, and the events are embellished. This feels like a safe way to tell the story, from a distance, and to ensure that I do not reveal too much about my family’s experience that might betray their trust in me. Fictionalising the story gives me free reign to be creative, whilst protecting my children.
Whilst prose fiction can be a great outlet, so too can poetry, scriptwriting and experimental forms of writing.
Timing
In truth, it’s impossible to know how it will feel to write about our trauma until we are in the process of doing so. I do believe, however, that we can take some important steps to protect ourselves both before, during and after writing.
Overall, it is crucial that you feel ready to write about your trauma. It will be painful and it will bring up difficult feelings and memories, therefore is important that you take care of yourself and ensure that you have the correct support in place before embarking upon the writing journey. Remember, there is no rush and you have plenty of time. You might consider hiring the services of a trauma informed therapist to guide you on your journey.
I have compiled some links below which may help you to decide how to approach writing about your trauma, and what support you might need to put in place.
Make sure to follow my blog for future posts to inspire your writing.
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